


There's No Escape From Home

by niente



Series: Uncharted Territory [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: 3rd person pov, Angst, Changing POV, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-27
Updated: 2015-06-27
Packaged: 2018-04-06 12:22:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4221567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/niente/pseuds/niente
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(The Case of John Egbert)</p>
<p>In which John proves himself to be more like Jake than Jane ever wanted.</p>
<p>Jane, Roxy, and John make their own plans that will forever alter everyone's lives and the course of the galaxy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	There's No Escape From Home

**Author's Note:**

> I spent so long editing Uncharted Territory, I forgot how much I loved writing in this 'verse.
> 
> Anyway, here's the next piece. It bridges the months between Uncharted Territory and the next major arc. As the summary suggests, it focuses on John and a few of the relationships he has with the other humans. This also reveals some more of the history of the Prospit humans on Skaia.

* * *

Roxy, by nature, can be a bit of a nosy person. However, she has a great deal of respect for privacy – especially that of the younger ones. After years of being taught that a secret could mean the death of their family, John, Rose, Jade, and Dave were afforded no leniency when it came to keeping a secret. A lie could spell disaster for the eight of them living in secret on Skaia.

Now that they’re all adults, Roxy trusts that the younger ones understand which secrets put the family in danger and those that can be kept to themselves. The kids highly value their privacy and Roxy prides herself on not violating it. However, Roxy likes to believe that there are no secrets between the members of her family and hides away from the truth.

At least, she knows, there are some members of the family who keep nothing from each other. Jane and Dirk, for example, and herself and Jake. And all of the younger ones – nothing is kept from each other. Roxy wishes she and her friends could be as close as their younger counterparts. But the stress of having to survive on Skaia and duty often drives them apart.

* * *

Every morning, Roxy takes a walk to the _Rogue_ to inspect her for anything that might have happened. The inhabitants know about the _Rogue_ and the crew enough to not damage her, but occasionally bandits run into the port and cause a ruckus.

Upon entering the hangar where the _Rogue_ lives, she runs into her biggest secret. The secret that is slowly driving her apart from her friend.

“Hey Roxy!” John greets, smiling brightly at her.

“Morning John,” she replies, grinning back at him. “What are you doing here so early?”

“I wanted to check on the warp core. We’ve been docked for a long time and I wanted to make sure it was still in running condition,” John answers.

“I’m putting something together, we’ll be off in a few weeks,” Roxy says, seeing John’s anxiousness to get back out into space.

“That’s great news! Dave’s going to be pumped to hear we’re getting out of here,” John exclaims.

“And get him out of his room,” Roxy murmurs. “Honestly, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so lethargic.”

“He’s sad, Roxy. Mostly because he’s an idiot who can’t see what he’s got until he’s pushed them away.”

Roxy grimaces. She misses Karkat a lot too, but probably not as much as Dave.

“I should probably head back, Jane wanted my help baking,” John says.

Just as John takes a step to walk around Roxy, she grabs his arm.

“Do you want to do something tonight?” she asks. “Just the two of us?”

“I’d love that,” John replies, voice lowering slightly. “Did you have anything in mind?”

“Just get out of the house and away from everyone else for a little bit. I’ll have to get back to you on specifics.”

John nods, eyes glinting excitedly. Roxy releases his arm and John swoops in to give her a quick kiss before hurrying off. Quickly pulling herself together, Roxy strides purposefully towards the _Rogue_ and boards her.

She notices almost immediately that the ladder covering the door to the warp core is undisturbed. John always tangles it up and forgets to fix it.

He _lied_ to her.

Suddenly Roxy feels herself stepping into the shoes of the detective she use to pretend to be with Jane. Hurrying up the rope ladder she searches through the main room of the _Rogue_ and the cockpit. After finding nothing, she heads to the room John shares with Dave. Her hand hovers on the handle to pull it open but she can’t force herself to invade John’s privacy this way.

Spinning on her heel, Roxy heads to the opposite side of the _Rogue_ and enters the rec room. Turns out she didn’t need to search John’s room after all. He left what he was doing open on a table in the rec room.

A blue journal that Roxy immediately recognizes as John’s sits on the table. It’s shut and completely innocuous. But John would never forget it anywhere. Roxy has never had the privilege of being able to see inside, but knows that the contents are very important to John. He’s scribbling in it whenever he has a moment and always has it tucked away somewhere on his person.

 “Don’t do it, Roxy,” she scolds herself aloud.

However she’s already walking towards the table, hand stretched out. The curiosity in her is too much and John did just lie to her. This could be something harmful – Roxy should check out the journal just in case.

“Now you’re rationalizing,” Roxy huffs, but hasn’t stopped moving towards the journal.

Snatching it up before her conscience catches up with her, Roxy flips to the very last page that’s been written on. After briefly skimming over the contents of the page, Roxy tosses the journal across the room in anger.

The journal contains plans to go to Earth. Permanently.

“Uh,” John manages, standing in the entranceway.

Roxy glares at him, not even a tiny bit ashamed to have been caught. John’s eyes dart between Roxy and the discarded journal.

“Why?” Roxy demands.

John sighs and his shoulders slump forward. His gaze drops to the ground and he looks so tired. So exhausted with his existence.

“I can’t be here anymore, Roxy,” John admits. “I hate it here – with the station above _mocking_ me. It hurts so much to know that was my home once! I can never get Prospit back – I’ll never even know Prospit!”

“I understand that, John! We all do!” Roxy argues.

“No you don’t!” John snaps, going on the offense and suddenly angry. “You don’t understand at all. Derse is still out there, you have memories of your home! At some point in the future, you’ll probably be able to return to Derse! I can _never_ see Prospit again, Roxy. It’s not the same!”

“You can’t just leave Skaia for Earth. As the heir, you’re needed here.”

“Am I?” John questions hotly, eyebrow rising to challenge Roxy. “Jane and Dirk are the only two who are really needed. The rest of us were never meant to be in charge or do anything for the people.”

“And you’re just going to leave all of us? Leave _me_?”

John’s stance shifts again and his staring at the ground. Slowly his eyes drag upwards and meet Roxy’s.

“I was going to ask you to come with me,” John murmurs quietly. “It’s not like – you’re like us, Roxy. Jane and Dirk can handle Skaia, like they were meant to.”

Roxy explodes.

“You want me to leave?” she hisses, stomping forward. “You’d ask me abandon my friends, my sister who I raised? You’d ask me leave Jane and Dirk to run this place on their own? You think I’m unimportant enough to run off to Earth with you? The planet that abandoned my people?”

John puts his hands up in defense.

“I didn’t mean it like that!”

“Then what did you mean, John? Actually, forget it. I don’t want to hear your excuse. Run off to Earth, but don’t even think of including me.”

Roxy shoulders past John and tries to escape the _Rogue_ before John can see her cry. The hot tears are already at the corners of her eyes, threatening to fall.

“Wait!” John calls, just as she’s about to climb down the ladder.

Roxy doesn’t turn to face him, but she doesn’t acknowledge his presence either.

“You can’t tell Jane,” John begs. “After Jake – it would kill her to know that I was planning on leaving too.”

“Please,” Roxy whispers, voice breaking. “Please don’t make me to that to Janey, John. I can’t lie to her, she’s my best friend.”

“You’re already lying to her about us, how is this any different?” John replies, voice far too callous for the sweet boy that Roxy loves.

“Not anymore. I can’t lie to her about this. You of all people should know why I can’t lie to her.”

John sighs heavily and Roxy can hear him breaking apart.

“Don’t think of it as lying then. Just, just don’t bring it up. At least give me time to figure out how to tell her.”

Roxy squares her shoulders and takes a deep breath. A few tears have landed on the floor since she’s been standing here, but she’s stopped crying for now. Turning to face John, Roxy keeps her face carefully neutral.

“When we’re you planning on telling everyone?” Roxy asks.

“I think the question is when was I planning on telling you and Jane,” John says so quietly that Roxy has to strain to catch his words.

The fury rises up and Roxy purses her lips. She doesn’t say anything else and just exits the _Rogue_. She has questions that need to be answered by other parties. 

* * *

The walk back to the inn gives Roxy some time to collect herself. She replays the conversation with John over and over in her head, trying to sort out the information. It had been hard enough when Jake left, one of her best friends. He had left an irreparable hole in their quartet. Now days, it seems like they all stand alone, instead of the unit they were as kids and teens. At one point, they were a patchwork quilt, bound together by strong seams and love. Now each patch has become far too different and is struggling to pull free from the greater piece.

Arriving at the house, Roxy immediately heads to Rose’s room. Her younger sister spends most of her time tucked away in her bedroom, if not with Jade in the market. Surprisingly, the door is open and welcoming people to enter. Roxy still stops in the doorway and knocks on the door to alert Rose of her presence.

The most shocking thing is finding Dave with Rose. He’s sitting on her bed, back against the wall. Rose is in her usual spot, against her pillows but her legs are resting comfortably on Dave’s thighs. Dave has his shades resting in his hair, red eyes bright and visible to the world. Roxy smiles at this, she loves Dave’s eyes. She loves even more seeing her cousin out of his room and not looking like a miserable wreck.

The two of them look at her, breaking their calm conversation. After her earlier curiosity, Roxy isn’t even remotely interested in what the two could be discussing.

“Rose, can I speak to you in private?” Roxy asks.

Rose turns to look at Dave; she reaches out and touches his hand lightly as a comfort. His face becomes slightly troubled, but he quickly smoothes it out.

“We’ll talk later,” she promises. “I’ll come find you.”

“It’s fine. Have a good sisterly chat,” Dave says casually and quickly pulls himself off the bed, shades sliding down to cover his eyes. “Catch you later, Lalondes.”

Once Dave leaves, Roxy shuts the door. Rose gives her a questioning look.

“It’s private,” Roxy repeats. “It involves John.”

Rose sighs heavily and flops her head backwards.

“I thought I told you that I was no longer going to give you relationship advice.”

“It’s not relationship advice,” Roxy assures her.

Roxy grabs the chair from Rose’s cluttered desk and sets it up close to the edge of Rose’s bed. In response, Rose readjusts herself so she’s facing the chair more.

“Did you know John was leaving?” Roxy asks almost immediately once they’re both facing each other.

If she’s at all surprised by Roxy’s question, Rose doesn’t show it.

“I did.”

“Do you all know?”

“If by ‘all’ you mean Jade, Dave, and I then yes. I am unaware if Jake or Dirk know, but John made it amply clear he wanted to tell you and Jane at the right time.”

“Well he didn’t. I found his journal.”

Rose’s mouth twists downwards and it’s easy to see she’s disappointed in her sister’s obvious breach of privacy.

“Did you try talking him out of it?” Roxy questions.

“I may have mentioned that the endeavor is merely a reflection of his own grief and that he should consider speaking to Jane about it.”

“His grief?”

Roxy is confused as to how she missed John’s feelings. They spent most of their time together, so it’s hard to miss each other’s moods.

“The loss of his father, for one, is still very heavy in his heart. The illness that took his life was quite traumatic for John. As well, he is missing Prospit as the home he never knew. These thoughts burden him.”

“Do you grieve like this?” Roxy asks, worried that she might have missed her sister’s turmoil.

“I have spoken to you about my grief on multiple occasions. There’s no need for you to be concerned, you were a very good at helping me come to terms with the loss of Derse and our parents. Even as you struggled with your own mourning.”

Roxy sighs in relief.

“But do you ever wish to leave Skaia? Like it’s so overwhelming being on this planet with all the reminders of our lives on Derse?”

“Do you wish for me to lie to you?”

“I don’t know.”

Rose carefully thinks over her answer.

“I think we’ve all thought about leaving Skaia at one point or another.”

“And by all, you mean yourself, Dave, Jade, and John. Dirk, Jane, and I have never thought about leaving Skaia.”

“How can you be so certain?”

“We don’t lie to each other, Rose. We never have and never will,” Roxy asserts.

“And yet the three of you built a ship.”

“We always come back,” Roxy reminds her. “Skaia is my home as much as Derse ever was, if not more. If I hadn;t lived on Skaia, I would have never been friends with Jane and Jake. I probably would be a lot of things I am today.”

“Derse and Prospit hated each other. It would make our friendships rather unlikely,” Rose muses. “But our parents were dedicated to peace. Jane and Dirk probably would’ve been married.”

Roxy snorts at the thought. Dirk and Jane make a great team, with a strong platonic friendship. Neither of them have the capability to feel more than that about each other.

“Do you want to leave Skaia now? With John?”

Rose looks Roxy directly in the eye and Roxy can see her sister wavering. For all her boasting about being a good liar, Rose is a terrible liar.

“No,” she says firmly.

“Alright,” Roxy replies, swallowing slightly. “Thanks for indulging my questions, Rosie.”

“Don’t call me Rosie,” Rose says mechanically.

Roxy gives her a weak grin and hurries out of the room before she calls out Rose on her lie. Instead she heads to Dirk’s workshop, where she knows both he and Jane will be.

John’s conversation plays back in her head. She remembers John referring to an ‘us’ in the argument. The ‘us’ meaning all the kids. The conversation with Rose only confirms Roxy’s worst fears. The kids are planning on leaving Skaia.

She shoves the door to Dirk’s workshop open. Jane and Dirk both leap backwards from the blueprint they were looking at. Jane clutches her chest while Dirk glares at Roxy. His look softens and the harsh words die on his lips when he takes in her appearance.

“What’s wrong, Rox?” he asks quietly, cocking his head to the side.

Roxy steps in the workshop and makes an effort to shut the door with much less force.

“All of them – they want to leave,” Roxy murmurs.

“What?” Jane asks, voice trembling.

“The kids. John’s leading a plan to leave Skaia for Earth.”

Jane’s eyes squeeze shut and Dirk’s jaw clenches. He leans backwards and grabs the edges of the worktable he had been previously leaning over. The tips of his fingers go dark red from how hard he’s gripping the table.

“It’s too be expected,” Dirk finally says.

“How is this expected?” Roxy exclaims in horror when Jane nods in agreement.

“They have no ties to Skaia, not like you, Jane, and I. Even on Derse and Prospit, someone else was meant to take over. I was the prince, not Dave. Jane was the maid, not John. You were to the Lalonde seat, not Rose. They have no ties and they’re only reminded of what they’ve lost here. I don’t blame them for wanting to leave”

“How can you be so cold, Dirk? This is your brother we’re talking about!”

“Dave’a grown ass adult who can make his own decisions, even if I disagree with them. None of them can see past the loss that Skaia represents right now. They can’t see the new life it’s creating.”

“Even if they’re hurting everyone around them?”

Dirk doesn’t respond. Roxy turns to Jane.

“Jane?” she asks weakly.

“I always knew John would want to leave – he’s far too much like Jake. As much as it breaks my heart, I have to let him do what he thinks is best for him.”

“How can you both be like this? You’re letting this family fall apart!” Roxy accuses, angry tears forming once again.

“I don’t exactly want my brother to leave!” Dirk hisses back. “But we couldn’t convince Jake to stay, what makes you think we could convince the kids to stay? What could we possibly tell them that we didn’t already try with Jake?”

“We’re not their parents, Roxy,” Jane reminds her.

“But we still raised them! I think that gives us some authority to sit them down and tell them that leaving is a stupid idea.”

Jane clenches her fist and her eyes shut again.

“I will talk to John,” she says slowly. “I can’t convince him to stay, but I can help him along the path.”

Roxy takes a deep sigh of relief.

“Thank you,” Roxy murmurs and slips out of the room.

She needs to put the finishing touches on her plan for the _Rogue_ next mission into wild space. Maybe a good old fashion adventure will help the kids see that they belong with their family.

* * *

“They’ve spent far too much on Skaia,” Jane says to Dirk, once the two of them are hunched back over their blue prints.

“We haven’t left since the Empire,” Dirk agrees. “It’s probably why this came to head.”

“Karkat’s time on Skaia likely gave them a taste of life off of Skaia,” Jane adds.

“It’s partly my fault, I told Roxy we probably shouldn’t take off until I had the power systems balanced out,” Dirk sighs, deflating a bit.

Jane reaches out and places a hand on his back.

“It’s not your fault, Dirk. You couldn’t have known this would happen.”

“I should’ve,” he mutters angrily. “It happened with Jake, so why wouldn’t it happen with John? The kid idolizes him. And all the others follow John’s lead.”

Jane reaches with her other hand and takes Dirk’s now clenched first it hers. She eases it open and winds their fingers together.

“Then I have blame to share. John’s been my responsibility since his father died,” Jane replies, giving Dirk a sad smile.

Dirk sighs heavily.

“We’re such a mess,” he says. “How long have we been falling apart like this?”

“We’re not falling apart,” Jane tells him, squeezing his hand. “We all went through this at one point or another. The kids will figure themselves out and sort through their feelings. They’re 22 years old, Dirk. What did you want to do at 22 years old?”

“Run away,” Dirk admits.

“Did you?”

“No.”

“So give them time and don’t blame yourself. It’s natural.”

Dirk lets another heavy sigh, but straightens his back. Jane pulls her hands away from him, he no longer needs her immediate touch to comfort him.

“I have no idea what I’d do without you,” Dirk says quietly.

“Probably starve since I’m the only person brave enough to drag you out of your workshop,” Jane teases.

Dirk gives her a tiny grin.

“Speaking of eating, it’s time for you to start cooking dinner,” Jane orders.

“Are you really going to try and get Feferi is restore Derse?” Dirk questions, hope shining in his eyes.

Jane nods.

“I’m going to try to get her to do a lot of things, now that you’re heroes of the Empire.”

“Good,” Dirk says, nodding.

“Don’t burn the food like last time,” Jane says, turning to leave the workshop.

“No promises,” Dirk replies, smirking.

Jane gives him a warning look before exiting the room. She makes her way to her office on the third floor of the side house. Once arriving, she takes extreme care to lock the door and pull the shades shut on all the windows. No one needs to know that she’s in direct contact with the Empress just yet.

Taking a seat at her desk, Jane fiddles with her old comm unit to get it to turn on. She sighs in relief when it flickers to life and lists her contacts.

“I really wish we could get better parts on Skaia,” Jane murmurs before selecting the private channel that will connect her Feferi.

It’s not long until Feferi’s grinning face can be seen through the static. The picture isn’t great but the sound is working fine.

“Give me a second, this damn unit is acting up again,” Jane mutters.

She gives it a few good whacks and the insides rattle about. Fortunately, the solution works and the picture clears up. Feferi isn’t wearing any of her excessive jewelry or robes. She looks just like troll you met all those years ago, but more well rested.

“Jane!” Feferi greets brightly. “It’s s good to see you again. This talk is long overdue.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Jane agrees. “I was hoping with the _Rogue_ as heroes of the Empire, we could finally get the support for Skaia we talked about when we were initially setting the terms of our contract.”

“The good old days of Captain Crocker and Insurgent Peixes,” Feferi murmurs.

“The good days indeed,” Jane agrees. “I know we settled on the Empire staying out of Skaia’s business but the situation here is much more dire than I thought.”

“What do you mean?” Feferi asks, brow furrowing in concern.

“Skaia is running out of viable land,” Jane admits. “We’re unable to the let the soil rest with our population so high. With the two exoduses, Skaia’s population nearly tripled. Not too mention its name as a safe haven for those not welcome in the Empire or the Sovereignty. The planet simply can’t support this many inhabitants.”

“So you need food. The Empire can get that to you,” Feferi says, nodding. “But it’s not the best option.”

“No,” Jane agrees. “There is a more permanent option that I think could help.”

Feferi raises an eyebrow to indicate for Jane to go on.

“The restoration of Derse,” Jane says.

Feferi bites her lips.

“I’d need to send my own scientists to the planet to see if that is possible,” she says slowly. “It might not work, depending on exactly what my predecessor did to the planet.”

“I know, but it’s the most favourable option right now. The other is opening Skaia up to trade with both the Sovereignty and the Empire, which would likely drive many of the unsavoury inhabitants away.”

“For that to work, you’d need to be directly involved in the politics of the situation,” Feferi says meaningfully.

“I know. And I said no when we last spoke, Feferi. I won’t move to the palace and join your council.”

“You could bring your entire family here,” Feferi counters. “And it’s not like you couldn’t return to Skaia. I can assure a quick and private shuttle whenever you need.”

“I can’t ask that of them,” Jane says. “Not right now.”

“The offer remains. You would be an invaluable member to my council and the developing senate.”

“While I agree Skaia needs a voice, I don’t lead it alone, and both of us are needed on the planet at the moment.”

Feferi nods, backing off.

“There is one more thing I wanted to discuss with you. It just came to me today,” Jane says.

“Whatever I can do.”

“The destruction of the Prospit Station. It’s time for that monstrosity to go.”

“I’m glad you asked,” Feferi says genuinely. “It was on my list of things to deal with removing the Condesce’s presence from the galaxy. I just wanted your approval first.”

“Thank you.”

“As much as I would love to talk, my general is calling me away for an urgent discussion it seems,” Feferi says turning to look off screen. “She loves to talk and hates to be ignored, but I’ll contact you soon with statuses of the projects.”

Jane nods.

“Speak to you soon,” Feferi promises and ends the call from her end.

Jane remains sitting at her desk for sometime, playing with her fingers. At least now, Skaia can be provided with some supplies to prevent the oncoming shortage of food. If Derse can’t be saved, the only solution will be to join Feferi’s council and negotiate Skaia’s reintegration into the Sovereignty. Skaia still has plenty to offer trade wise.

* * *

“We’re leaving tomorrow,” Roxy announces after a tense dinner.

“Ooh, where?” Jade questions excitedly, the only person seemingly unaware of the revelations made today.

“There’s an abandoned ship in an asteroid belt that Dave pointed out last time we were in the area. My sources say it’s still there,” Roxy explains. “I want to check it out.”

“That could be dangerous,” Jane offers. “It might not be fully abandoned – or it could draw in other dodgy bandits.”

“We’ll scope it out properly,” Roxy says tightly.

Jane immediately backs off. The _Rogue_ belongs to Roxy now and Jane needs to stop undermining her captaincy.

“An asteroid belt, I like the challenge,” Jade says, clapping her hands together. “It always let’s me put my pilot skills to the test.”

“I’m glad your excited, Jade,” Roxy says, pleased at Jade’s enthusiasm.

“The power systems aren’t quite ready,” Dirk cuts in. “I have everything dismantled.”

“Then put it back together. We’re leaving tomorrow, no ifs and or buts,” Roxy orders, still angry at Dirk for how he reacted earlier.

Dirk growls and sits up from the table.

“Better get to work then,” he snaps and storms out of the house.

“I should go help him,” Dave says quickly and hurries after his brother.

“Roxy that wasn’t at all necessary – it’s not his fault,” Jane says, pressing her fingers to her temple.

She just convinced Dirk it wasn’t his fault and now Roxy’s undone all her work.

Roxy frowns and Jane can see the regret in her eyes.

“I’ll apologize later. For now we need to prepare to leave,” Roxy says, pursing her lips.

Jane looks Roxy over. The events of the day have really taken their toll on her. The thoughts of their family breaking are tearing Roxy apart on the inside. Jane knows Roxy is a much better captain than this. She’s compassionate and would never rush into potential danger. Maybe the entire crew is getting cabin fever from being on Skaia too long.

A trip would be best, Jane rationalizes.

“Jade and Rose, could you clean up?” Jane asks. “John, I’d like to speak with you alone.”

“What about?” John asks, eyes flickering up to Roxy.

She avoids his gaze and immediately exits the kitchen. Jane sighs.

“John, I think you know,” Jane says seriously.

 John’s eyes drop to the table in guilt. Jade and Rose also avoid Jane’s gaze.

“Come on, John,” Jane says and leaves the kitchen.

The only assurance that John is following after her is his feet shuffling against the ground. Jane exits the back of the house and into the garden. Immediately, she climbs up the ladder to the roof. Although she dislikes when the others get on the roof and clump around, Jane respects the quiet and privacy the roof provides.

John follows up after her and still avoids her eyes when she turns to face him.

“Come sit beside me,” Jane calls and moves to sit on the edge of the house.

She throws her legs off the side of the house and takes in the square below. Carapacians are hurrying about, heading off to new places or returning home. John reluctantly makes his way to wear Jane sits, landing with a soft ‘thwump’ when he sits down. His posture is defensive and the guilt is practically leaking out of him. The two of them just sit quietly for a long time, both trying to figure out what they want to say first.

“I didn’t want for you to find out like this,” he admits quietly.

“I know,” Jane replies. “But when would’ve been the right time to tell me that you wanted to leave Skaia?”

John flinches when Jane’s voice crackles at saying the truth aloud.

“You seem to be taking it better than Roxy,” he says carefully.

“Roxy has always been a much more expressive person,” Jane reminds him. “Maybe I’m not openly angry or upset about it, but I’m still hurting.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I always saw so much of Jake in you,” Jane murmurs. “That desire for adventure and how much you hate being trapped.”

“Skaia just reminds me so much of everything I lost,” John tells her. “My dad, Prospit, even Jake.”

“I know it does, John. You’re not alone in this,” Jane asserts.

John’s lip quivers and he brings up his arm to rub his face in a desperate attempt not to cry. Jane reaches over and places her hand on his back, causing John to lean over and press his face into her shoulder.

“The trip to wild space will help,” Jane promises. “It’ll help clear your head and maybe when you come back, you’ll look at Skaia a little differently.”

“I don’t want to leave, but I can’t be here anymore,” John mumbles.

Jane’s entire body goes rigid at his words. John may not know it, but Jake said the exact same thing just before he left as well. Maybe this time she can say the right thing in response.

“We’ll figure it out,” Jane pledges.

“It shouldn’t have to be ‘we,’” John stresses. “I should figure this out – you do so much for us and for Skaia.”

“It’s a burden I don’t have to carry alone,” Jane reminds him.

John inhales sharply. That was a low bow.

“You don’t,” he agrees.

“I know it’s hard right now,” Jane begins, “but running away isn’t the solution. Go to wild space for a some time, get away from Skaia.”

“Okay.”

John reaches out and takes one of Jane’s hands in his.

“Give it a bit more time, John. That’s all I ask,” Jane says. “Don’t run off at the first signs of trouble.”

“I promise,” John says without hesitation. “I’ll give it a bit more time.”

“Thank you.”

There is a pause in the conversation, Jane now at peace knowing she has John on Skaia for a bit longer.

“Do you think my dad would’ve been proud of me?” John asks suddenly.

“He would be proud of you not matter what,” Jane assures him. “Even now, you’ve turned into a very capable and talented young man. What’s not to be proud of that?”

“I wish I could talk to him again,” John admits. “I miss him so much.”

“I do too,” Jane agrees.

John’s dad had been her guardian too – her parents dying during the attack on Prospit. Her uncle had taken her in and treated her like a daughter. She remembers very clearly the illness that swept through Skaia so many years ago, another issue of having such a high population. John had gotten ill first, he was a small and sickly child. Jane hates thinking about how small and ill John had looked back then. It’s in sharp contrast to the tall man who sits next to her today.

His father, spending so much time taking care of John, contracted the illness quickly. Fortunately, John’s young immune system kicked in. John’s dad wasn’t so lucky and was one of the many victims of the vicious illness. After he died, Jane was completely responsible for taking care of John.

“He would’ve been proud of you too,” John adds.

Jane smiles at John and squeezes his hand.

“It will work out with Roxy,” she says.

“You know?”

“Of course I know. I’ve known you’re entire life, John,” Jane laughs lightly.

“And you’re not mad?”

“I wish you’d stop keeping secrets from me, but I’m not mad.”

John hums apologetically and rearranges himself so his head is in Jane’s lap. She easily adjusts to him and begins to comb his hair with her hands. When John was younger, and still tiny, he could easily curl up into her lap. Now, he can just fit his head.

They remain like this for sometime, watching over Skaia as it’s quiet guardians.

“Your comm is blinking like crazy,” John comments, tilting up his head to look at Jane.

“Oh?” Jane asks, surprised.

She untangles her hand and pulls it up to exam the portable comm unit on her wrist. It’s indeed blinking bright red indicating a missed and urgent transmission. Clicking around, Jane discovers the message originated from the Empire, specifically Feferi’s private channel.

“I need to take this,” Jane says.

Her voice must give away worry because John pulls away and gives her a questioning look.

“Is everything alright?”

“I don’t know,” Jane replies honestly.

“Let me listen,” John says, leaving no room for argument. “You don’t have to do this alone.”

Jane nods and presses the central button on her comm. After a few moments of static Feferi’s voice crackles through the tiny speakers. John tucks in close to her so he can hear as well.

“Jane, I have some very bad news,” Feferi murmurs, voice heavy with sadness.

“Is that the Empress?” John asks quietly.

Jane inclines her head slightly, far too distracted by Feferi’s foreboding tone.

“I’d rather tell you this in face to face, but you must know. I promised to support Skaia in these dire times, but after recent events I’ll be unable to do so. Over the past weeks few of the imperial transports have been making it to their destinations. My general discovered that a pirate from wild space has been attacking these transports and stealing the supplies they carry.

“Very few members actually survive these attacks. I can’t risk anymore lives and I’ve been forced to make the decision to pull support from all the outer colonies, including Skaia. I am so sorry Jane, but you have to understand. My general is currently putting together a team to find the pirate and take them down, but for now I have to stay on the side of caution. I hope you can understand.”

The transmission cuts out and Jane makes a noise of frustration. She understands Feferi’s situation completely but Skaia is desperate for those supplies.

“What is she talking about?” John asks.

Jane runs a hand through her hair and quickly weighs the pros and cons of letting John know about Skaia’s dire situation. At the moment, only she, Dirk, and a few of the head farmers know. She is hoping to sort out the issue before any widespread panic.

“Don’t carry this burden alone. Not now, especially after what you just said.”

“You can’t tell anyone,” Jane acquiesces, voice dropping. “I know I promised you I’d never ask you to lie for me, but this is something no one can know.”

“I won’t tell anyone,” John promises.

Jane takes a deep breath. She can tell John, she trusts John to not tell the others. The only issue is saying the words aloud. Dirk and Jane have been dancing around the terms, speaking only in vague ways while trying to avoid the truth. Telling John will mean finally letting the reality set in.

“Skaia is dying, John.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on tumblr as isaaclehigh and as usual there's an info page on the verse if you're interested. 
> 
> The next part, tentatively titled 'Mapping the Stars,' probably won't be out for sometime. I prefer to write the entire work before posting it and I'm going on vacation shortly so who knows how much I'll get done. 
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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